Safety

Safety

He couldn’t remember a time of ever feeling safe; not ever. He supposed, in a way, it came from the understanding that you couldn’t rely on anything or anyone. The older he got, the more he understood some fundamental assumptions, and here they were: In childhood you should be able to rely on the adults around you. In adulthood, when damaged, you should be able to rely on a welfare state to take care of you. But the thing he’d come to know, was that none of this, were true.

This was the case, especially when those in authority couldn’t, or didn’t want to understand

Because his problems were something he’d been taught to be ashamed of, he’d spent his entire life, trying to hide them. The authorities failed him because they were choosing to remain blind to the truth of his problems. The real problem frightened them. It frightened them because of its scale. Right now, society faced a massive, problem.

If a government wants to take care of its people then it should take full responsibility

When he looked at it through cynical eyes, he saw those within government, as only being in it for themselves. He saw that they didn’t genuinely care about the people at all. Surely if they did, they’d understand that looking after damaged people, is only half their responsibility. And if they really cared about the people, they’d tackle this problem. A part of his mind – he thought of as paranoid – did actually know what the real problem was. The real problem lies in the people themselves. He often wondered if keeping people from the truth had become deliberate? He understood, if you tell people the truth, you hand power to THEM. A power he was beginning to find. His self-diagnosed paranoia, exposed, as a lie. 

As he began to immerse himself in this power – the power of truth – he experienced unfamiliar feelings. All of his past started to become irrelevant

He now understood the unfamiliar. The unfamiliar was a feeling of safety. It was, after all this time, the recognition that true safety is found, not through anything mysterious or otherworldly, but through changing how he used the cleverness of his mind. He realised what he needed to do. He realised that his own worst enemy had been his own mind and his own feelings of insecurity. It was this insecurity that had been driving his illness. It was the cleverness, his mind had been using to find the illusion of security, that had been working against him. A powerful circular pattern of self-fulfilling fear.

His fear had been driving him to seek a security – outside of himself – that never existed. All he needed to do, was see this for what it really was: A grasping to feel loved and needed through some kind of recognition. His lonely soul longed for company and security. The illness was the madness of this driving. This was the disease that cured him. Now he could see, he’d been using the cleverness of his own mind, against himself.

What he also saw now was his own vulnerability; his own disbelief. Another part of his mind had already found a way to create the security he needed, and it was this he’d doubted. Some sought oblivion through the contents of a bottle or syringe. Long ago, he’d denied himself these escape routes. He wanted to face the truth. And it was this that was setting him free.

Image Credit: Pixabay

A Lesson In Maturity and Emotional Detachment

Maturity and Emotional Detachment

Just recently something very interesting came to my attention. It was all about my inability to recognise something in human behaviour through been hoodwinked by beliefs.

Imagine a sixteen year old who weighs eighteen stone and is six foot two tall. He looks like a man. Most of the time he acts like a man. He believes he is a man, and because of this, most, if not all of the adults around him, treat him as such. It wasn’t until I reacted to his disrespectful behaviour, and made the following statement, did things really kick off. I said:

“It confuses me how a child of sixteen can be so disrespectful to a man of my age.” BOOM!

To cut a long story short I pushed hard on a hot spot. I touched a nerve. The events that followed are what enlightened me to his true age and level of maturity*. Due to an appreciation of his true age and maturity my attitude to this child has now changed. I’ve removed my ignorance of his belief and treat him accordingly: With the respect and understanding deserved of a child. He must find this confusing.

More than anything, what came to light, was the emotional immaturity of self-preservation through self-centeredness. The self-centeredness of a child. The ability we all have to protect oneself through not caring about anything except the self. 

Immature Self-centeredness Gone Mad

Let’s take the catholic faith and its believers. We all know what’s come to light over recent years: The sexual abuse of children by priests and nuns. What surprises me, is how those who follow this faith, can still continue to do so. They know their faith attracts abusive, dysfunctional people, yet continue to believe. They’re inadvertently protecting abusers. Whilst the lives of countless people have been destroyed through the activities of those who represent the church, this institution, is allowed to carry on.

“On a level we’re beginning to accept, we know religion is stunting the development of mankind, yet allowing it to continue. We must ask why?”

In answer to that question, we could say this is down to the rights, of the individual. It’s our right to follow and believe what we choose. Even if these institutions are corrupt, immoral or just downright ridiculous in what they teach, it’s our right to follow them. It’s the individual’s right. So how do such people continue to believe? The answer must be through their need for self-preservation. Their beliefs are solely focused on the self, regardless of whether these beliefs are abusive to the rest of us, or not.

“The whole of religion is abusive when we think of it”

Abusive, because the continuance of antiquated beliefs, stunt the development of us all. It’s not dissimilar to keeping a child locked in a cage, never having the truth of father Christmas or the tooth fairy, revealed to them. All their lives the religious continue to believe the nonsense spouted by the delusional and abusive. Remember, through keeping us stunted within its antiquated belief systems, religion abuses us all. Religion assumes its beliefs are useful and correct for all. They are not. They are only correct and useful to those who believe them.

We’re being hoodwinked and we’re treating them in a way that assumes their beliefs are correct for everyone. It’s not dissimilar to treating a boy as if he were a man. In this respect are we not abusing them? It could be said that by keeping them stuck – through not outlawing the whole shebang – we’re actually abusing them! I say set them free and stop ALL the abuse. Should we not help the delusional rather than condone their beliefs? But then again, some delusional beliefs have their value, do they not? Perhaps only to those holding them though.

“It follows that all outdated beliefs that are no longer useful and productive keep us stunted”

We should, and potentially will in the coming years, use the example of religious beliefs to help explain their debilitating nature. When we hang on to antiquated beliefs, or have people placed in positions of authority do it for us, we will always be leading lives that are influenced by them.

“Beliefs that are placed through ignorance, romantic notion, fear, lies and sentimentality will always be unstable”

My understanding, that a certain individual respected me enough to protect our relationship, was shattered through the removal of my ignorance. The consequence of my enlightenment, to being hoodwinked by the beliefs of another, is now acting as protection. I’m fully able to detach myself emotionally from children who, through their immaturity, have no care whatsoever for the wellbeing of others outside their family unit.

Those who are able to empathise and respect us, do this, through having moved beyond childish self-centeredness. It will be necessary for you to seek these people out if you want them in your life. Many never move beyond the level of self-centeredness experienced by the mind of a sixteen year old. 

So to sum up, here is the lesson. If you want to get ahead in life, and not get dragged down through the immature illusions – and delusional beliefs – of others, remove your ignorance. Once you do this, emotional detachment is a breeze. Simple.  

If you’d like to know more about how to remove limiting beliefs, and then creatively install useful ones, you can find your application form here

General enquiries to info@freedmancollege.org

*It is actually a form of abuse to treat a child, as you would an adult, but that’s certainly the subject for another post.