Pointless Continued Disruption

Disruption and Uncertainty

A few years ago now, I was negotiating a lease on a property, from where I wanted to run a Hypnotherapy practise

The issue for me was the time span of said lease. The landlord wanted me to sign a ten year agreement which, as you can probably imagine, was too far sighted for my needs. All I wanted was a two year agreement.

This relatively short term of two years would offer me freedom, if things either didn’t work out, or, as proved to be the case, I needed to move on. From experience, I know there’s nothing worse than trying to release oneself from a signed lease agreement, early. It can be very expensive.

As time went on, and the to-and-fro emails from solicitors continued, eventually the lease was adjusted to my needs. Even so, I  continued to delay signing; there was some doubt in my mind, over the planned expansion. Eventually, the phone rang, and the landlords solicitor simply asked me a question: “Do you want this or not?” It was a yes or no response he was after.

There are times when we fail to recognise that everything is as planned

We may have become so used to things being uncertain and changeable, that we become blind to the reality. We’ve been successful! The things we’ve been striving for, have actually, arrived. So used to the game of disruption, have we become, that it’s now the norm.

Uncertainty, doubt, grey areas – call it what you will – can become a familiar place if we’re not careful. We must ask: if all we want to do is create disruption in our minds – and that of others – have we perhaps lost touch of reality? What were we striving for in the first place?

My initial plans, for expansion into another area, had become lost in the detail. I was so focused, on disrupting the landlords excessive demands, that I’d lost sight of my original excitement and enthusiasm for helping people in this new area.

Of course during this period of delay, everyone found the need to project all their frustrations and issues, onto poor old me (boohoo). Added to this, there was the issue of my advertising expenses; they were growing.

Growing costs and disappointed potential clients – only being added to a waiting list – was not a good situation. No consulting rooms, no paying clients.

All in all the message is clear: be careful to not get lost in the detail

Unless your intention is to drive others insane, with your methods for disruption, stop playing the game of uncertainty. Get on with the plan, make decisions, stop the unnecessary, expensive dialog, and move forward. As with the question from the solicitor, all we need sometimes, is a little shove in the right direction. Do you or don’t you? Simple.

Image credit: Pixabay

Powerless to Powerful


I read a blog post this morning that spoke about choices. The author of the post was saying how it’s sometimes of no benefit to tell people: ‘you have a choice.’ I wholeheartedly agree.

I agree, because there are times in life, when we feel like we don’t have the power to make sensible choices. We may feel so powerless that we’re unable to make any choices at all. We can feel like we have ‘no choice.’

At some point most of us have, or will experienced, a feeling of powerlessness

We only have to look around us to see all the powerless people. People who know in their hearts, that their chosen lifestyle, isn’t healthy. People who known there’s more to life than the way they’re currently living. And yet they seem stuck. The seem powerless.

Even though this path is likely to end with a walk across broken glass, they’re so powerless, they have no choice

It’s not all doom and gloom though. There is always a way to change powerlessness into power. It does involve choice, and as good fortune would have it, on this occasion, it’s an easy one to make. It’s a choice that can be decided in an instant, and it’s one that even the powerless, can make.

When I think back, to help me understand what it was that helped me make important decisions in the past, I realise what it was that awarded me this power. It seems there’s a fine line between choosing to change – because we’re fearful of the consequences if we don’t – and making that same choice, through love. Perhaps both are involved.

There are some choices in life that are easy to make

Yes, it could well be the case, that we firstly need to feel a little afraid of consequences, but then we must be focused on the need for more. We must want more if we’re to avoid that walk across broken glass.

Firstly we’re fearful of the pain and consequences, if we stay on the same path, but then we must turn our attention to the benefits of change. It’s the only way, because if we stay afraid, we stay powerless. There is no lasting power in fear. It may embolden us to begin with (fight or flight) yet this quickly fades. Love never fades. So the question now is: How do we turn to love?

In answer to that last question, and to continue on from the link, we turn to love through watching example. We must want the kind of life we see others living. We must know – or at the very least suspect – what it must be like to live a beautiful life. Finding those who we see as having beautiful lives is where it gets a little tricky. I say this because it is of course relative to how we think. It’s relative to how educated we are to the importance of looking after our minds and bodies.

It could be that we wait for the warning signs

Be this in our health: we might wait until we experience blood in our vomit before we stop drinking (by then of course it might be too late). Or we might wait until our partner becomes violent before we decide to leave a toxic relationship. Either way, waiting, under these kind of circumstances, is a bit of a fools game. Far better to make a comparison, and then ask if the life we currently have, is making the grade. And with that in mind, be assured, a beautiful life has nothing to do with what most of us are taught to believe.

Yes there are times when to be told: ‘you have a choice’ can feel empty and even slightly insulting

It certainly feels this way when we’re powerless and unable to change. It’s this powerlessness we must firstly expunge. We do this through seeking examples of how to live and then applying this to ourselves. Yes, fear is involved, but then we must always turn to love. It’s okay to be afraid of the consequences – of continuing along the path we’re currently on – however, we must be aware and remember, love will always be the essential ingredient to find.

To close, there are some further important things for us to be aware of

Many of us follow the paths we do because we’re seeking the very thing I’m speaking of. We actually believe, on a very deep level, that the things we do – that are not for our better good – will get us the love and attention we crave. If we’re very lucky, toward the end of our lives, we might find a caring nurse or relative that treats us with the respect and love, only a child deserves. Here is the important point: We mustn’t seek this kind of love. The opportunity for this died when we became adults.

Those who suggest they will take responsibility for you, are taking your power, and keeping you stuck

The kind of love we must seek is that of an adult. A love that understands how being fully responsible for ourselves, is the only way to live a long, happy and healthy life. Don’t wait, find the examples you seek, and step into life. We turn powerlessness into power through love.