Powerless to Powerful

Choice

I read a blog post this morning that spoke about choices. The author of the post was saying how it’s sometimes of no benefit to tell people: ‘you have a choice.’ I wholeheartedly agree.

I agree, because there are times in life, when we feel like we don’t have the power to make sensible choices. We may feel so powerless that we’re unable to make any choices at all. We can feel like we have ‘no choice.’

At some point most of us have, or will experienced, a feeling of powerlessness

We only have to look around us to see all the powerless people. People who know in their hearts, that their chosen lifestyle, isn’t healthy. People who known there’s more to life than the way they’re currently living. And yet they seem stuck. The seem powerless.

Even though this path is likely to end with a walk across broken glass, they’re so powerless, they have no choice

It’s not all doom and gloom though. There is always a way to change powerlessness into power. It does involve choice, and as good fortune would have it, on this occasion, it’s an easy one to make. It’s a choice that can be decided in an instant, and it’s one that even the powerless, can make.

When I think back, to help me understand what it was that helped me make important decisions in the past, I realise what it was that awarded me this power. It seems there’s a fine line between choosing to change – because we’re fearful of the consequences if we don’t – and making that same choice, through love. Perhaps both are involved.

There are some choices in life that are easy to make

Yes, it could well be the case, that we firstly need to feel a little afraid of consequences, but then we must be focused on the need for more. We must want more if we’re to avoid that walk across broken glass.

Firstly we’re fearful of the pain and consequences, if we stay on the same path, but then we must turn our attention to the benefits of change. It’s the only way, because if we stay afraid, we stay powerless. There is no lasting power in fear. It may embolden us to begin with (fight or flight) yet this quickly fades. Love never fades. So the question now is: How do we turn to love?

In answer to that last question, and to continue on from the link, we turn to love through watching example. We must want the kind of life we see others living. We must know – or at the very least suspect – what it must be like to live a beautiful life. Finding those who we see as having beautiful lives is where it gets a little tricky. I say this because it is of course relative to how we think. It’s relative to how educated we are to the importance of looking after our minds and bodies.

It could be that we wait for the warning signs

Be this in our health: we might wait until we experience blood in our vomit before we stop drinking (by then of course it might be too late). Or we might wait until our partner becomes violent before we decide to leave a toxic relationship. Either way, waiting, under these kind of circumstances, is a bit of a fools game. Far better to make a comparison, and then ask if the life we currently have, is making the grade. And with that in mind, be assured, a beautiful life has nothing to do with what most of us are taught to believe.

Yes there are times when to be told: ‘you have a choice’ can feel empty and even slightly insulting

It certainly feels this way when we’re powerless and unable to change. It’s this powerlessness we must firstly expunge. We do this through seeking examples of how to live and then applying this to ourselves. Yes, fear is involved, but then we must always turn to love. It’s okay to be afraid of the consequences – of continuing along the path we’re currently on – however, we must be aware and remember, love will always be the essential ingredient to find.

To close, there are some further important things for us to be aware of

Many of us follow the paths we do because we’re seeking the very thing I’m speaking of. We actually believe, on a very deep level, that the things we do – that are not for our better good – will get us the love and attention we crave. If we’re very lucky, toward the end of our lives, we might find a caring nurse or relative that treats us with the respect and love, only a child deserves. Here is the important point: We mustn’t seek this kind of love. The opportunity for this died when we became adults.

Those who suggest they will take responsibility for you, are taking your power, and keeping you stuck

The kind of love we must seek is that of an adult. A love that understands how being fully responsible for ourselves, is the only way to live a long, happy and healthy life. Don’t wait, find the examples you seek, and step into life. We turn powerlessness into power through love.  

One to One Attitude Unavailable

Attitude

We’ve come a long way since the days of ‘put-up-and-shut-up.’ This kind of attitude to life is no longer accepted by the majority. Humanity has, and is looking to solve many of the riddles and conundrums, to life. For example, why is it good people, always seem to get the shitty end of the stick? In answer to that, it’s not so much about good or bad that makes the difference, it’s about having a proper grip on the realities of life, that does. It’s also about understanding the influences of the past on the present.

“Most times, we do need to understand the importance of putting ones own needs, uppermost in our mind”

That last statement might go against the grain slightly. However, unless we realise the realities of life at the offset, we’ll likely be in for some nasty surprises. Awareness of the importance of Personal Responsibility places us in a position of power. Leaning on others, believing they’re thinking about us and our needs, might work in the short term. In the long term though, it always becomes apparent, that through our vulnerability, we’re only ever placing another person in a position of power over us.

Further to this, if we’re needy because of illness this illness only acts as confirmation of the belief: “I am powerless.” In actual fact, it might well be our powerlessness, that’s the root to our illness in the first place! It’s a chicken or the egg scenario. In which case, we might want to ask: “Where and when was my power taken from me?”

“It is human nature to lust for power, and if you’re unable to retain yours, it will effortlessly be taken from you”

The ego desires power, it lusts for it. Knowing and accepting this puts you in a position of control. No, not control over others, just control over yourself. Take mental illness for example. Much of the root cause of mental illness is the continued ignorance of the sufferer. Honest, useful and empowering information, is part of the cure. This is something I believe.

Attitude

For example, if depressed, it might not seem immediately useful and empowering to be asked: “So Johnny boy, how are you doing your depression exactly?” In the first instance you might want to punch that person in the face. Potentially, if just for a moment during the punching, you might well be cured of your depression. Who ever said boxing, or just a good old punch-up, didn’t have its uses?

On a more seriousness note

When our power is handed back, through someone actually telling us how it is, (yes depression is created by the person suffering with it because it’s buying them something) this is true empowerment. The tools for how we change depression, once we’ve accepted why and how we’re creating it, are another matter.

This is where the ‘put-up-and-shut-up’ attitude no longer lives. When approaching the professional nowadays, it’s very unlikely you’ll be told to just take an aspirin, and to then simply hope for the best. There are tools (rather than wretched drugs) at our disposal, that can help us to understand, how to stay well and clear of limiting conditions.

With this in mind we do all face a slight dilemma. When depressed, getting up and doing something about it, can feel like the equivalent to climbing a mountain. It’s a catch twenty two situation. We don’t want to feel the way we do, but don’t have the first clue, as to how we go about changing it.   

“Ultimately it comes down to choice. We either carry on living a half life or we decide to climb that mountain. It’s a decision”

Seeking the necessary information is a decision. Accepting that there’s some work ahead is also a decision. We must reach the point where we’re prepared to accept this reality: “it’s only me that can fix this.” Once accepted we’re able to get out there and find the information required.

Attitude of Information Seeking

Much of mental illness is often cured through the individual changing their attitude and viewpoints to life. Often there needs to be a shift in the kind of philosophies we believe and adhere to. Our expectations, and what we believe life should be, needs a good shake.

Let’s for a moment, imagine depression as being similar to a meal devoid of that all important, pinch of salt. Many depressed are this way, because they themselves are leaving the salt off, believing life (or someone else,) should have already put it there for them. It’s an attitude of entitlement. Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way.

Unless we look and then bend down to pick up that container of salt from the bottom shelf, where we least expected to find it, we’ll continue to experience life as the bland meal we’re currently tasting.

One to One

I originally set out writing this post as a means of welcoming in one to one appointments. It’s clear to me now though, after sharing my thoughts, that this isn’t the way forward for me at all.

Moving forward often involves shedding the past. I’ve already served my apprenticeship – as a Personal Development Specialist – through the years I spent as an Analytical Hypnotherapist. Personal Development, as opposed to therapy, is partly about the power of group dynamics. Think of this: how is it possible to retain the mental illness of anxiety and depression, when surrounded by people, passionate about life?

“True empowerment comes as a result of finding the driving force behind it: LOVE”

If you’d like to experience me and the rest of The Freedman College Team, you will need to climb, this little mountain.