Power in the Unexpected

Spill the Beans

‘Some people really think they’ve got all the answers don’t they?’ said Tom.

‘Go on’ prompted Lisa

Tom and Lisa had been friends for a while. There was a little chemistry between them, but they weren’t yet at the friends with benefits stage, if you catch my drift. It was warm and dry in the cafe.

‘Well there’s this guy, whose book I’m reading at the moment, reckons if you’ve got an issue with health or addictions or whatever, all you need to do, is imagine you’re the last person on earth, and all your problems will disappear.’

‘Sounds a bit simplistic to me, what’s his reasoning?’ asked Lisa

Tom now had a cynical lilt to his voice, ‘His reasoning is based on old philosophical stuff relating to control and will and all that. He’s basically saying that illness and addictions are only a means of control. He’s saying that we spend most of our time wrapped up in seeking to get the love and attention, we lacked in childhood, through the control of others. He reckons being the last person on earth, or imagining you are, is likely to enlighten you to the truth of your condition.’

‘Wow, bit left field that Tom, why are you reading it anyway?’

‘I saw it on Amazon, the title got me. It’s called Power in the Unexpected. It’s about gaining personal power, and how that can be found in unexpected ways.’

‘Power in the Unexpected’ repeated Lisa. ‘Punchy title that, found in all good book shops… and Amazon hey?’

‘Actually you’d be surprised, there’s some good self published books out there, they’re not all vanity stuff you know.’ said Tom

‘And now he’s defending something he was cynical about a minute ago.’ mocked Lisa.

‘Oh bollocks to ya, I just though you might be interested.’

‘Umm, well maybe I am… a little. Anyway, what problems do you have, that are likely solved by imagining yourself as the last person on earth?’ enquired Lisa.

‘Now you ask I have this thing with sugar. You know I gave up smoking some years ago?’ Lisa responded with a nod, ‘Well, the more I’ve read the more I understand my sugar habit is just replacing the fags.’

‘And your point?’

‘The point, my dear cynical friend, is if I was the last person on earth there’d be no shops open selling Mars bars!’

‘Oh fuck off!’ said Lisa, a little too loudly. She blushed.

‘Actually, the point is, if I were the last person on earth, our man reckons what’s most likely to happen, is I’d have to take responsibility for my health, and not unconsciously seek this from someone else. I know for a fact, eating too much sugar is going to lead to health problems in the future, but it seems our of my control. Our man is saying, if you don’t have control over the self, you’re likely seeking this over someone else. You’re exerting control over others by creating concern in them and their unconscious need to take care of you. He reckons whole governments are being hoodwinked by the minds of the neglected.’

‘Jesus Tom, I’m not sure about that, but did you know loads of Victorians died of teeth.’

‘Teeth?!’ exclaimed Tom

‘Yeah, teeth, that’s what they used to put on their death certificates when it was rotten teeth, abscesses and infections that killed them. People died of teeth.’

Tom was just nodding his head, and not in the positive. ‘That, what you’ve just done there, is what our man would call the-will-to-power. You’ve just tried to trump my conversation with some bullshit about teeth. You’ve just tried to exert your greater will over me with something about fucking teeth.’

‘As we both know Tom, my will is, and will always be, greater than yours. The reason I mentioned teeth, is because if you were the last man on earth, not only would there be no shops, there’d be no dentists to pull out your rotten bloody teeth. And it is the case, and lets not forget it’s an unconsciously thing, I am seeking to take care of you. You’re my beautiful baby! Now get me another coffee will you, oh, and a Flapjack, I’m bastard starving!’

‘Fuck… hot milk with your Americano darling?’

How to Defend the Empath

“A modern term banded about nowadays is that of being an Empath. It’s really just a way of describing those who have a particularly overblown sensitivity to the mental or emotional state of another”

One of the main reasons for this sensitivity, I believe, comes as a result of the empath being very in touch with themselves. Those of us who have a good understanding of what it is to ‘know oneself’ do tend to display above average empathic abilities.

There is of course disadvantage, as much as there is advantage, to being an empath. The empath can find themselves easily affected by the behaviour of others. They can also tend to be highly suggestible, and effected by others moods, to such a degree, they’re often swept along by the moment.

There are times when the majority of us, and not just highly empathic people, become all too aware of the unpalatable and unpleasant aspects of human nature. Under such circumstances, we must all know how to protect ourselves, from its effects.

We must distract ourselves by focusing our minds on the more positive aspects of human nature. Becoming more involved with the world around us will also help. Move attention, away from the feelings center, and more toward the other senses.

“I clearly remember telling a trainee therapist one time, how, if she ever felt emotional – at an inappropriate moment – she’d find it useful to look upward”

This is done in order to take the mind out of our feelings or kinesthetic sense. You’ll often see this when people are unconsciously seeking to control tearfulness. Conscious awareness of this phenomenon (of moving eyes upward) awards us greater control.

When it comes to greater control, one last thing for us to look at today, is that of how easily empathic people can be emotionally manipulated. This is simply due to their high degree of awareness: the moods of others become theirs. When others are sad so are they, when others are happy, so are they. With this in mind, the clever, abusive manipulator, has the empath in the palm of their hand.

“An uncomfortable paradox for the empath is they’ve often experienced neglect, and other kinds of abuse, during childhood”

And to add insult to injury, as adults, they can also easily find themselves in the hands of abusers. Paradoxically, this is due to survival skills established during childhood, creating vulnerability (if not understood) in adulthood.

Be aware: if you are empathic there are times when your mind, is quite literally, not your own. Taking back control involves detaching yourself from certain senses. Move your mind onto other things. Allowing yourself to be distracted from the moods of others, may be necessary, to take back control of your mind. As odd as it sounds, you may need to start caring, slightly less.