Confused and Contradicted?

“If you spent most of your life, feeling confused and contradicted, what do you think would be the long term effect?”

Insanity is one option, however, the favoured one has to be silence. That’s right, if, whenever you’ve given an opinion of fact – or otherwise – and you’ve found yourself contradicted, eventually, you’ll simply stop talking. So damaged will your self-esteem be that you’ll just give up. I’ve met a lot of very quiet elderly people. Eventually they say: “What’s the point in talking to these fuckers when I’m either wrong or ignored?”

What, if during any kind of discussion – be it heated or calm and constructed – things you’ve said in the past are brought up? How does it feel to have your face constantly rubbed in the nonsense you’ve said in the past? From being foolish in our youth, to mistakes in adulthood, most of us feel some residual guilt. In this respect, do you wish everything you’ve ever done or said, could be just deleted?

“There is actually a way to do that. You could just move on. Move away from those who confuse and look to bring you down through constant contradiction or guilt”

The other way though, is to find understanding (and probably still move on). Why do those around you contradict nearly everything you say? Incidental, they might not be doing this directly, there are some very subtle ways this is done, so you may not consciously recognise it. You might just feel put down and unconfident and not fully understand why. Eventually, even criticism becomes the norm. We stop hearing it, and just feel it, as anger disappears down into self-loathing and depression.

“Back in your basket naughty boy, how dare you try and rise above me!”

Consider how you feel, when giving an opinion, only to find someone else has already said it. Or indeed someone else has a slightly different or better take on what you’ve just opined. We can also have the strength of our opinions and expertise brought down simply by them being ignored. Get ignored enough, and you either realise what you’re saying is complete bollocks, frightens people, or it might just be a load of old hat. If it is, shut the fuck up, or you’ll find what you seek: confirmation of the belief you’re nothing important. 

The other side of this is, if we don’t have the good manners to hear someone’s opinion, and recognise it to be the right one, (everyone’s opinion is correct) this will be due to our own fragile ego. It could well be that we’re frightened of someone reaching higher ground than ourselves. As such, we look to confuse and contradict them, in an attempt to keep them at our level. If this is the case, we’re not doing ourselves any favours, the eventual break-up, will be far more painful. When we look to control others, the pain is far greater, when they eventually leave. This is due to the enormous amounts of effort and energy we’ve expended looking to trap them.

If you want to get along, never contradict anyone. You may feel they’re incorrect, however, think about your own beliefs and opinions, are they correct? Of course they are, so give everyone else the honour of seeing their opinions, as being correct too.

In my humble opinion, the definition of insanity, is not just the habit of doing the same things over and over again expecting different results, it’s not knowing what you’re doing, and how you affect those around you, that’s the real insanity.

Contact Us if you’d like to raise your self-esteem and cure insanity.

The Infectious Nature of Insanity

“Imagine being in the company of a work colleague who constantly criticises someone else you work with”

Every morning all you hear is negatives and criticism over and over again. The effect of this, over time, is very interesting. You actually start to have the same negative thoughts about a colleague, you barely ever see, and certainly know nothing about. In fact all you do know, about this colleague, is he’s supposedly an idiot. This opinion has been placed upon you by proxy. It’s second hand information and incorrect at that.

The information is incorrect in respect of it being someone else’s opinion. To make matters worse this opinion is from your manager. The reality of the situation is, it’s the inability of the manager to properly train your colleague, that’s the real issue. He can’t do his job properly because the manager can’t do theirs. So poor are things now, and so lacking in resources is this manager, that the solution found is to resort to a playground game.

The manager has resorted to alienating all other members of staff against him. This is the game. It’s now at such a stage, that he makes mistake after mistake, and all picked up on by his alienated colleagues. He either leaves by his own volition (if he even has that left) or eventually gets sacked. A case for constructive dismissal if there ever was one.

“We can apply the same infectious nature to insanity”

For example, spending time with someone insanely confused. If you were to spend enough time with someone locked into such a state – about nearly every aspect of their lives – you too would become confused and uncertain. If your time was exclusive to such an individual it would only makes matters worse.

Imagine living on a ward within a psychiatric hospital. Your sane to begin with, but how long do you think it would take, for you to become confused too? Days, months or years? I think we’d all be surprised how quickly – the insanity of confusion and uncertainty – would take effect.

The nature of uncertainty in a mind that’s never known certainty is extraordinary. In such a mind, the myriad of options – presented to all of us each day – creates a kind of hell. Not knowing which way to turn, at every, any and each junction presented to us, creates a stress most of us would be unable to deal with. Unsurprisingly, once such a person actually does make a decision, it’s invariably the wrong one. Wrong, because that’s what they’ve been taught.

During their childhood every decision, opinion and choice, was knocked out of them by a controlling parent. According to this parent, every decision they did eventually make, had some element that was incorrect. Imagine years of this kind of abuse. In time you’d not know your head from your toe, and would require some kind of outside assistance, in order to cope with life.

“The alternative solution, to outside assistance, would be to reduce the number of options available”

The tendency then would be to close down life in an attempt to escape confusion (hello psychiatric ward). Life is all about options and choices, indeed the saying goes: “In your choices lies your talent.” Consider how an inability to make good choices, coupled with the belief those made are always incorrect or poor, creates a no win situation. The outcome a controlling parent wanted in the first place: Total control over the mind of a child. A monstrous act created by a monster. Their really are monsters out there. Murder is nothing of a crime compared to this. I’d rather be dead than confused all the time.

Thankfully I’m alive and rational enough to share my understandings and realisations with you and the rest of the world. These realisations have been achieved through decades of studying humans and their minds. Be cautious of who you choose to spend your time with. Contact Us.