He couldn’t remember a time of ever feeling safe; not ever. He supposed, in a way, it came from the understanding that you couldn’t rely on anything or anyone. The older he got, the more he understood some fundamental assumptions, and here they were: In childhood you should be able to rely on the adults around you. In adulthood, when damaged, you should be able to rely on a welfare state to take care of you. But the thing he’d come to know, was that none of this, were true.

This was the case, especially when those in authority couldn’t, or didn’t want to understand

Because his problems were something he’d been taught to be ashamed of, he’d spent his entire life, trying to hide them. The authorities failed him because they were choosing to remain blind to the truth of his problems. The real problem frightened them. It frightened them because of its scale. Right now, society faced a massive, problem.

If a government wants to take care of its people then it should take full responsibility

When he looked at it through cynical eyes, he saw those within government, as only being in it for themselves. He saw that they didn’t genuinely care about the people at all. Surely if they did, they’d understand that looking after damaged people, is only half their responsibility. And if they really cared about the people, they’d tackle this problem. A part of his mind – he thought of as paranoid – did actually know what the real problem was. The real problem lies in the people themselves. He often wondered if keeping people from the truth had become deliberate? He understood, if you tell people the truth, you hand power to THEM. A power he was beginning to find. His self-diagnosed paranoia, exposed, as a lie. 

As he began to immerse himself in this power – the power of truth – he experienced unfamiliar feelings. All of his past started to become irrelevant

He now understood the unfamiliar. The unfamiliar was a feeling of safety. It was, after all this time, the recognition that true safety is found, not through anything mysterious or otherworldly, but through changing how he used the cleverness of his mind. He realised what he needed to do. He realised that his own worst enemy had been his own mind and his own feelings of insecurity. It was this insecurity that had been driving his illness. It was the cleverness, his mind had been using to find the illusion of security, that had been working against him. A powerful circular pattern of self-fulfilling fear.

His fear had been driving him to seek a security – outside of himself – that never existed. All he needed to do, was see this for what it really was: A grasping to feel loved and needed through some kind of recognition. His lonely soul longed for company and security. The illness was the madness of this driving. This was the disease that cured him. Now he could see, he’d been using the cleverness of his own mind, against himself.

What he also saw now was his own vulnerability; his own disbelief. Another part of his mind had already found a way to create the security he needed, and it was this he’d doubted. Some sought oblivion through the contents of a bottle or syringe. Long ago, he’d denied himself these escape routes. He wanted to face the truth. And it was this that was setting him free.

Image Credit: Pixabay

Holding Pattern

Birds Freedom

The birds circled overhead, their holding pattern, a mirror of his current state of mind. Round and round went his thoughts. This wasn’t troubling him; it created no stress. He had, after all, been thinking about human drama. Ironically, what manifested from these circular thoughts, was this strange, yet calming, holding pattern.

As his mind was drawn back to the birds, he found himself wondering once again, what it must be like to be one. To be so free and independent. He knew the birds weren’t aware of their freedom; they weren’t able to compare their lives, with that of the other animals. In a way, this made their freedom, a little pointless. If you didn’t know how free you were what was the point? As this thought came to mind he was reminded of human drama. How humans kept themselves enslaved by it.

All the games and torment. The competitive fight for supremacy and power. Such wilfulness was both their success and their downfall. He wondered about the empty minds of the birds. He thought about how they’re purely driven by instinct alone. This instinct was what drove them to fight for territory, for their mating rights and the all rest of it, we, it would seem, are not so different.

For us humans there were options. We can choose to be involved with instinctive games or we can rise above them. He supposed it was the way the games satiated the instinctive mind that made them so addictive. It also had a lot to do with the level of awareness you had, and the control you could exert, over the self. When we see examples, of how adults exert this control over themselves, we learn it for ourselves.

Conscious Emotions

Those who have the most control over their emotions, seem to be the ones who have control, over most other aspects of their lives. To not be dictated to by our emotions seems to be the greatest asset anyone could have. We can see it in businessmen and women who’re able to compartmentalise. They’re able to separate business from personal.

Even though there’s this separation, there is a spillover. The control they have over their self in business affairs, spills into their personal lives, too. Life is not a succession of moving from one drama to another. It’s a succession, of moving from one stimulating and creative experience to another, that’s driven by something they’re in control of: Their minds.

The difference is they know how to think. They’ve been taught how to do this. They’ve been show the kind of results rational thinking can bring. They’ve been shown how awareness and control over the self can bring success. When a child is shown how to rationalise their thoughts and emotions, they grow to be in control, of their self.

If the birds were to ever evolve into having the kind of consciousness, we currently touch, what would they do with it? Would they become aware of their freedom? Or would they be like humans and decide to cut off their wings, to eventually revert; becoming lost in their instinctive drivings, once again? Would they still see value in their old ways of fighting for mating rights, territory, and power? Or would they embrace the freedom of their new found awareness? Would they soar above the treetops, just to watch; amused by the fighting animals, below. Would they rise in the thermals just to feel the pleasure of flight?

When will we?

Image Credit: Pixabay