Beautiful use of Language

Beautiful Use of Language
Gentle Words

Talk is cheap. This proverb refers to the fact it’s easier to say we’ll do something than to actually do it. There’s no doubt we sometimes use words far too freely. We unthinkingly open our mouths and say things we later come to regret. Or, as the proverb suggests, we use language to make promises we can’t keep.

Slow up

As with many things, the antidote to poor use of language, is to slow down a little. When we slow, it’s possible to take the necessary time, to process our thoughts and true intentions. Above all, we must slow-up sufficiently to give ourselves enough time to consider the consequences, of the words we’re about to use. Thinking before speaking is a skill to nurture.

Volume

Last night I went to see the improv comedian and performance poet Phill Jupitus (If you’re English you’ll perhaps know him from various TV appearances during the late 90’s). Although I’m not in the business of reviewing comedy acts, or poetry for that matter, I thought on the whole it was value for money. My only issue was with all the shouting.

Quite a lot of comedians seem to do this. Often it’s done to beat hecklers down. Last night, it also had the effect of scaring the laughter, out of the audience. On occasion we all seemed terrified of Jupitus. He was very loud and intimidating. Laughter is an antidote to fear. Does Jupitus know this? Anyway, the hideous volume can mostly be credited to a good PA system, I suppose.

Words can be our stock-in-trade

Without the power of words (and their volume) Jupitus would be a bit lost. Words are his stock-in-trade. It’s evident time has taught him how to use words to good effect; even if this is just to shout down the hecklers. He seems to have grown so very tired of being heckled, over the past fourteen months of touring, that cutting them all dead in the first ten minutes – through sheer volume alone – seems to have become a necessity.

There was a little cleverness when Jupitus suggested – that if anybody wanted to heckle him – they’d be brought down to the stage to do five minutes of stand-up on their own. The audience went quiet, in terms of heckling, from that point forward. Hecklers are after all, just seeking a little bit of the limelight themselves, and Jupitus has cleverly recognised they often only want this surreptitiously. The suggestion, like any defence tactic, could have backfired though. Luckily it worked on this occasion.

 The Alternative: Beautiful use of Language

Like his mother before him Andrea Bocelli sang to his son a lot during his childhood. Listen to them now and this becomes all too evident. These two people, and their use of language, is evidence of how we become a clear reflection of the type of communication we experience during childhood.  

For some of us the type of communication experienced, was gentle, considered and kind. If so, you will have become a reflection if this. The alternative is the harsh, manipulative and ugly use of words, we so often hear. I personally heard a lot of fear and anger when young. Because of this, it’s necessary I make a conscious effort to remain gentle and calm, especially when anxious and stressed.

When I listen to Andrea Bocelli and his son sing, it makes me want to use gentle and beautiful communication. Their beautiful example makes me want to do this with all those I meet. I’m sure more music will help me on this quest. A door to be left open.

With this in mind, I believe we must all consider how and why we use the words we do. We could all be a little gentler with each other. We must also take the time to create the silence needed, to change these words, into something beautiful.

Pointless Continued Disruption

Disruption and Uncertainty
Maybe

A few years ago now, I was negotiating a lease on a property, from where I wanted to run a Hypnotherapy practise

The issue for me was the time span of said lease. The landlord wanted me to sign a ten year agreement which, as you can probably imagine, was too far sighted for my needs. All I wanted was a two year agreement.

This relatively short term of two years would offer me freedom, if things either didn’t work out, or, as proved to be the case, I needed to move on. From experience, I know there’s nothing worse than trying to release oneself from a signed lease agreement, early. It can be very expensive.

As time went on, and the to-and-fro emails from solicitors continued, eventually the lease was adjusted to my needs. Even so, I  continued to delay signing; there was some doubt in my mind, over the planned expansion. Eventually, the phone rang, and the landlords solicitor simply asked me a question: “Do you want this or not?” It was a yes or no response he was after.

There are times when we fail to recognise that everything is as planned

We may have become so used to things being uncertain and changeable, that we become blind to the reality. We’ve been successful! The things we’ve been striving for, have actually, arrived. So used to the game of disruption, have we become, that it’s now the norm.

Uncertainty, doubt, grey areas – call it what you will – can become a familiar place if we’re not careful. We must ask: if all we want to do is create disruption in our minds – and that of others – have we perhaps lost touch of reality? What were we striving for in the first place?

My initial plans, for expansion into another area, had become lost in the detail. I was so focused, on disrupting the landlords excessive demands, that I’d lost sight of my original excitement and enthusiasm for helping people in this new area.

Of course during this period of delay, everyone found the need to project all their frustrations and issues, onto poor old me (boohoo). Added to this, there was the issue of my advertising expenses; they were growing.

Growing costs and disappointed potential clients – only being added to a waiting list – was not a good situation. No consulting rooms, no paying clients.

All in all the message is clear: be careful to not get lost in the detail

Unless your intention is to drive others insane, with your methods for disruption, stop playing the game of uncertainty. Get on with the plan, make decisions, stop the unnecessary, expensive dialog, and move forward. As with the question from the solicitor, all we need sometimes, is a little shove in the right direction. Do you or don’t you? Simple.

Image credit: Pixabay