Just Visiting

“We’re all just passing through”

In those quieter moments it’s possible to gain a sense of proportion. Sitting in the company of a waterfall, for example, awards you an understanding of the continuous and unceasing, cyclic nature, of life. This waterfall has been here for thousands of years. It will be here long after you and I are gone.

I suppose it’s why, when visiting such a place, people leave little trinkets or etch their names on small stones to leave at the edge of the stream. They want to feel there’s a solid and permanent reminder of their visit; a part of them that’s still there long after they’ve gone. Do we all feel this way? Do you feel there needs to be something of yourself still here after you’ve left?

“The drive to have children must be attached to this need”

There’s no doubt something of ourselves left behind through our children. In an ideal world this spreading of our genes, as it were, extends to many other aspects of our lives. Many people think this way: that our creativity goes way beyond having children. To this extent, we even describe something we’ve created – a successful business for example – as ‘our baby.’ We say: “yes my business is my baby.”

So it is important for us to think in these terms. Everything we create, be it a new human being or a creation of a more enduring nature, we must see these things as the evidence of our existence. Our time here is so brief, that leaving something of ourselves behind, has always been important to us. With this in mind, what would you like to leave behind? Your name scratched onto a pebble by a stream? A ribbon tied to a tree? Another human who is also destined to die?

There is one important piece of evidence that goes way beyond the physical. Yes, it’s that simple thing that often seems to go unnoticed. It’s that simple, yet challenging example, of being the best we can be. It’s the example of being a beautiful human being.

“How many people are there in your life you could easily describe as beautiful? And you know I’m not talking about outward appearances here”

Think of the stream and how, if we go back to it’s origins, we will be led to even greater things: Glaciers, mountains, clouds and beyond that, the universe itself. It’s the examples of ourselves, we leave behind, that are the most enduring. Be the best version of yourself, and then teach others, how you achieved it.

How to Defend the Empath

“A modern term banded about nowadays is that of being an Empath. It’s really just a way of describing those who have a particularly overblown sensitivity to the mental or emotional state of another”

One of the main reasons for this sensitivity, I believe, comes as a result of the empath being very in touch with themselves. Those of us who have a good understanding of what it is to ‘know oneself’ do tend to display above average empathic abilities.

There is of course disadvantage, as much as there is advantage, to being an empath. The empath can find themselves easily affected by the behaviour of others. They can also tend to be highly suggestible, and effected by others moods, to such a degree, they’re often swept along by the moment.

There are times when the majority of us, and not just highly empathic people, become all too aware of the unpalatable and unpleasant aspects of human nature. Under such circumstances, we must all know how to protect ourselves, from its effects.

We must distract ourselves by focusing our minds on the more positive aspects of human nature. Becoming more involved with the world around us will also help. Move attention, away from the feelings center, and more toward the other senses.

“I clearly remember telling a trainee therapist one time, how, if she ever felt emotional – at an inappropriate moment – she’d find it useful to look upward”

This is done in order to take the mind out of our feelings or kinesthetic sense. You’ll often see this when people are unconsciously seeking to control tearfulness. Conscious awareness of this phenomenon (of moving eyes upward) awards us greater control.

When it comes to greater control, one last thing for us to look at today, is that of how easily empathic people can be emotionally manipulated. This is simply due to their high degree of awareness: the moods of others become theirs. When others are sad so are they, when others are happy, so are they. With this in mind, the clever, abusive manipulator, has the empath in the palm of their hand.

“An uncomfortable paradox for the empath is they’ve often experienced neglect, and other kinds of abuse, during childhood”

And to add insult to injury, as adults, they can also easily find themselves in the hands of abusers. Paradoxically, this is due to survival skills established during childhood, creating vulnerability (if not understood) in adulthood.

Be aware: if you are empathic there are times when your mind, is quite literally, not your own. Taking back control involves detaching yourself from certain senses. Move your mind onto other things. Allowing yourself to be distracted from the moods of others, may be necessary, to take back control of your mind. As odd as it sounds, you may need to start caring, slightly less.