Promiscuity

“And so the bank of England needs to ‘take its foot of the accelerator’ and, in the not too distant future, raise interest rates. Phrases like ‘reckless household spending’ are current, and once again, we don’t wonder why. The controllers just increase interest rates to try and stem the epidemic.”

We never question whether or not our happiness is something well rooted or just superficial. We say things like: ‘Oh yes, even though the Greeks are a poorer nation than us, they live longer; must be something to do with their diet.’ Blind fools we are.

If we take the time to read books such as: Huxley’s Brave New world, or  Orwell’s Animal Farm, or Golding’s Lord of the Flies, we clearly see the warnings no one has bothered to take heed of. Do we think these authors wrote what they did simply to amuse themselves and make some money? Do we think the great philosophers of our past said what they did simply because they had nothing better to do?

To think of a romantic past for a moment, it used to be the case, that if you wanted a girl, you’d take her out on a date; you’d play the beautiful (if frustrating) dating game. Now all you need do is buy her a few drinks and once you’re both pissed enough sex is guaranteed. Before marriage, it’s not unusual for a girl to have had sex with five or even ten men. It is possible this is a naive estimate. 

Furthermore the TV projects the existence of such things as ‘Angry Sex’ and the papers devote double page spreads as to whether this is healthy or not. What can anger possibly have to do with sex? How could you ever want sex when angry? Perhaps a sadist could? I’m confused by this, have we all become sadists?

“We know sex has very little to do with love, yet, it is the most intimate sharing of the only thing we own. Surely time spent considering with whom, when and how this is done, is important?”

I once knew a man who considered himself a romantic. He met a beautiful girl, who seemed confident and kind natured. He dated her; wooed her and fell in love. Some months later, before they had sex, she demonstrated the courage (perhaps out of necessity) to tell him all about her previous, promiscuous nature, and the resultant chlamydia. He was devastated. The word chlamydia is derived from the Greek khlamus, khlamud- ‘cloak.’

“Confident girls with high self-esteem and high regard of themselves are rarely promiscuous. Promiscuity is the result of childhood abuse or using sex to validate oneself. The advice is: if you want to break from the past and find a good man, seek a healthy resolution to your abuse, build your self-esteem and never, never fuck about.”

Are ‘old fashioned values’ of any benefit? It’s certain some will never find out.

The social order is disorder. We’re kept guilty and confused only to be calmed with drugs (yes alcohol is a drug and because we’re guilty and conditioned to drink we’re likely saying at this moment: ‘yeah fuck it, let’s get wankered!’).

There’s nothing wrong with glass of wine to accompany a meal, however, only those conditioned with the belief: wine is something to be savoured and not quaffed, are able to drink sensibly. What with wine, and drink generally, being considered an ‘acquired taste,’ we can know that to the ‘untrained’ palate, it will always taste horrible. First impressions and all that. Stick with something long enough and you’ll get used to it regardless of whether it’s love or just bad habit.

“When it comes to hope, well, we can hope to learn something from the Greeks and their love of: family, food, socialising, each other and life in general, and yet it would seem that this hope, is only meant for the few, not the many.”

Think of this story. Whilst travelling from Athens to London one of the Greek passengers (one of a group) fell ill. Such a fuss was made over the unfortunate lady that a doctor was found, oxygen administered, water dribbled, seats given up, the potential of a flight diverted, and it seemed all pandemonium was let loose. In the end she was fine, and to the tutting English people – who failed to understand – thankfully their flight wasn’t diverted.    

It’s a certainty that what comes with age, if we’re lucky, is a little more wisdom. And the irony of the common retrospection of: ‘Oh, if only I’d known then, what I know now.’ How sad that we seem so insistent on maintaining our ignorance, by ignoring the wisdom of our elders. Time for change? I doubt it.

Get Yourself on Stage

anxiety

Stepping out into the unknown is something we may be nervous or anxious about. A certain amount of nerves is inevitable when under pressure. We may be nervous about an exam or test for example. Perhaps you’re about to perform on stage and you’re experiencing slight stage nerves. Perhaps it goes beyond nerves, and you feel absolutely terrified, and yet we get through it, don’t we?  After the first few words on stage, or bars of music in a piece, or those first few questions in an exam, we overcome our nerves.

So what purpose does anxiety serve? It could be said, anxiety is the means the mind uses to focus itself. When we’re experiencing anxiety, and the stress this creates, the mind is very focused on the task in hand. This focusing, through anxiety, is the fear that we may fail at the task. Does the fear of failure (anxiety) actually help or hinder us?

Perhaps, in terms of it being beneficial, anxiety gives us the advantage of showing others our humility. When others see us as nervous, they want us to do well, and they understand our need; others understand that we’re nervous about failing at doing our best. Once we realise this, we’re then often free of our nerves, and we relax into whatever the task may be.

“What about those times when we’ve allowed our anxiety to get the better of us? When this is the case we freeze. When frozen our fear has moved to another level and we can call this level: ‘Stage Fright.’ Stage fright is very different to just a few first night nerves.”

Why not take this further and begin to view the whole of life as a stage? When we do this it opens up some rather interesting angles. That first job, first date, or perhaps that first big change we need to make, are the types of events – during this self-directed play called ‘life’ – that induce a certain level of stress. Now however, with our understanding of the power of focusing, we can see this stress as useful. We can now give this its proper description: Eustress (beneficial stress).

“During the times we’re experiencing eustress we’re focused, and due to the reasons mentioned, our slight fear helps us perform well.”

“It’s when we experience stage fright that we fail. We fail simply because we don’t act. We fail to actually do the thing.”

“Many of us experience stage fright during our play of life, and rather than recognising it as such, we simply ignore it. Instead of going on stage, and acting out our lives to the fullest, we stay in the wings.”

It’s comfortable here in the wings though, isn’t it? We can just watch the show unfold. We don’t need all those people looking at us, laughing at us, approving of us, disapproving of us, judging us, loving us, hating us, do we? No of course we don’t, we can stay safely in the wings and just watch, that way, we never need to experience the potential of anything?

“Hold on though, there is one rule we’re forgetting: if we don’t feel the fear we’re never going to feel the love, and love, is the most powerful drug in the world.”

To go further, I’m going to set one important example: Relationships. Is it possible to be in a relationship where both of you are happy being observers? Before answering that question, bear in mind, ‘happy,’ in this instance, may simply be the feeling we have when we’re free of fear. Here’s another question: Is it possible for just one of you to stay in the wings whilst the other preforms to their fullest? Somehow, I doubt this will ever work in the long term. Remember: the reality is, we’re talking about, life here.

“If it’s time for a relationship to end, it may well be, that it’s our first experience of an ending. As many understand, through experience, it is possible to fear endings as much as we fear beginnings, especially when this is likely to lead to the advent of stage nerves.”

Take yourself out of the wings, get on stage, get over the fear and act out your life to the fullest, NOW…

anxiety