Being Amongst Them

games
Trump Tower

“It’s such fun being amongst them, the kids. They’re so wonderful. One extraordinary thing, that fascinates me about the children, is their ability to wrap me around their little fingers. They use my love to manipulate me.”

I do laugh. It’s so funny to see them play. The games they play, in an attempt to get their own way, are just brilliant to observe. And the thing is, so often we don’t recognise the games for what they are, and we unwittingly get dragged in.

Like when they play one person off another. You know the situation. It’s similar to when mummy won’t give them what they want, so they talk to someone else (perhaps dad), as a way of getting around mum.

The way they can play people is extraordinary. I get caught out! It’s annoying and frustrating at the time, but on reflection, amazing and astounding how skilled and accomplished they are at playing their wilful games.

Of course, getting their own way, might be about not having to do a certain job, chore, or any task they dislike in fact. We do our best to teach them responsibility and the importance of gaining skills, independence and the ability to look after themselves.

We look to teach them about being gentle and respectful to each other; how to play nicely. Sometimes though, we do fail in conveying our message, as we once again get caught in their clever, manipulative game play.

Oh such fun! Of course, many a parent will tell you, spending too much time with the kids can be very draining. Having to calm their squabbles – when they don’t get their own way – or entertaining them with fool-play, can be very tiring. Sometimes we parents simply crave – and I do mean crave – time with the grown-ups. It can be very lonely being a parent.

“Sometimes though, no matter how much we crave for grown up conversation and interaction, it can prove very sparse.”

Other grown ups are also very busy caring for those beautiful little nippers. In fact, so busy are the grown ups, that their lives seem constantly tied up with the games of children. Many grown ups need to get pissed every night! Hey ho. So happy to have seen through that one.

It really can be very lonely being a parent, so we mustn’t forget to spend time with those who’re able to communicate, on a similar, or higher level, bringing us forward by gaining our rapt attention. We must remember to interact and stay close to those who stimulate our minds. So remember: Have no fear, spend some time, with the real grown-ups.

Applications now invited:

time
Time for Change?

 

Understanding Bradley – A Broad Clearing in the Wood

Understanding: There is no one to rescue us

There’s no complication. There’s no difficulty in understanding. It’s as simple as learning our ABC, so how is it, we’re choosing to look everywhere, except learning how to solve the problem? Are we all expecting someone to save us? See previous post.

Well here’s the thing: no one is going to save us, but we can save ourselves. Here’s the reason for all the troubles of the world:

“Failure to properly love ourselves. When we fail to love ourselves we fail to love our children. Unloved children, create havoc.”

I recognise of course, that this is too simplistic for the way we’ve been taught to see causes. Even so, here’s the solution: Learn to love.

We love ourselves through applying some very simple principles. The first one involves taking personal responsibility, and not looking for someone – or something – to save us, and do all the learning and hard work for us.

The second principle involves understanding that children don’t just become a certain type of person. They become a mirror of ourselves, and if we’re currently looking to create such a world; such a mess, that it then demands rescue, we will raise children that will emulate this goal. We then have an ever increasing sense of havoc.

Take the example of Bradley in my previous post. His mother stated: “He’s such a quiet boy.” That’s where her inquiry (if it was any kind of inquiry) stopped. There’s no: “I wonder why?”

We can’t help making mistakes, yet when children are involved with the mistakes of the adults around them, they will go on to make the same, if not similar mistakes during the course of their lives. Once they have children of their own the process goes on and on.

How is it we humans seem to simply refuse to remedy the situation, and look clearly at ourselves, and how we love? Do we want the drama? Do we want the pain and confusion? How is it we refuse to grow up and take proper responsibility for loving ourselves, each other, and our children?

Understanding: There is no one to rescue us

There is no one to rescue us. We’re on our own, and if we don’t start looking closer at the remedy, instead of everywhere but, we’re f**ked. There’s really no complication. None at all.

Do we really think that when a child fails, and makes mistakes, that it’s the child’s fault? At what point did we start believing it’s the child’s responsibility to raise itself? At what point does a child become responsible for itself? Quite simply, if the adults around the child are unable to do this, then the answer to that last question is never.

Is it science, religion or something else, that caused us to think that a child is born the way it turns out? It turns out the way we – as parents – and society mold it.

Further to this, at what point did we start thinking it’s okay to stop developing our minds when we leave school or university? To remain stunted at the point our parents had developed to emotionally? Take it from me, your parents were stunted emotionally. There is so much further for us to reach.

When will religion, and some aspects of science, recognise their responsibility, to help us understand something very simple. There is no one ‘out there’ and no drugs or procedures that will rescue or permanently fix us, other than learning to truly love ourselves and our children. If you love your children, and care about all of our futures, learn about how best to love yourself and each other. What have you got to lose? Oh yes, the games, the drama, the pain and the confusion. Sorry, my mistake.

Understanding: There is no one to rescue us

Mistake or not I really can’t help my sarcasm. Being honest though, sarcasm is only a symptom of fear, and that is the biggest stumbling block we have to solving our problems. Most of us fear acknowledging the truth. When we do, things begin to change.

How is it we fear acknowledging the truth? Because when we see the truth we’ll have to change, and change, is so hard for man. We have established ways of living and established ways of thinking, and to deviate from what we know, seems frightening.

Remember it’s as simple as ABC, we had the courage to listen when we learned that, so what happened? Fear, that’s what happened, and certain people, of a certain age, with a certain amount of wealth, will only ever pander to this, never solving the problems.

Sometimes love tells us all to be strong. To do this, we must stop fearing Change, and grow to save ourselves.